11 years of riding in ‘attack’ mode on a Hayabusa made me yearn for something a bit more laid back. I toyed with getting a Speedmaster or Bonneville America – but then I’ve always loved things that are a bit more extreme; and total respect to Triumph for producing something so delectably bonkers as the Rocket!

One thing I loved about the Busa – and would giddily recommend to anyone looking for a great ROAD bike – is having gobs of liquid torque. Torque’s where it’s at in my book and the Busa’s is colossal. But leap on the Rocket and you find it’s got even more. Masses. Canyons of the stuff. It makes every ride effortless, a world full of glorious snarling noise and tractor like pull. Overtake that wagon – just wind it open and the

torque explodes you past. Grin. Do it again.

It’s all about that engine with this bike. The noise, the power, the feeling, the performance. Mine came with the Triumph road-illegal pipes on it. It makes a noise like a Mustang at full chat, and crackles and pops like a wounded Messerschmitt when you wind it down. It might well be a carefully manufactured character (what isn’t these days?), but it works for me.

Brakes
Brakes work well too. They’re four pot Nissins as used on Triumph sports bikes and they’re full of feel and stop the Rocket like throwing out an anchor. Mind you, that’s the opinion of someone coming off a gen 1 busa (notoriously rubbish brakes) so might not count for too much. My bike’s got some stunty adjustable levers courtesy of ebay on it which are great – twiddle with the settings and they bring the levers to just the right place where minimum movement gives maximum effect. Should’ve come as standard really.

Handling
But of course, it’s a cruiser so the handling will be shit? Well kinda yes and kinda not. You can tell the roads around Hinkley are twisty because the Rocket handles like no other cruiser. Give it to a sportsbike rider and they’ll think you’ve just thrown them on a wheel barrow. Me? Well I was surprised at how well it handles. There’s loads of ground clearance and you can have heaps of fun hauling it over to smoothly glide through bends then give it a handful on the way out. Massive grins. And so far, I’ve not even ground down the foot pegs so there’s even more to come from it.

Which is all very surprising, considering it’s a cruiser; a cruiser with a 240 section rear tire. It does feel a bit odd at first and takes some getting used to. Triumph obviously specced the tire purely cos it looks cool. Which does it for me. But that’s at a cost of handling. It’s a price I’m happy to pay but you can feel the handling’s compromised when you hit the twisties. Which is probably why the Rocket III Touring has a much more sensible 180 section rear on it (how puny ;).

How does it feel? Well, you can feel you’re having to haul the bike over across the tire before it banks. It’s sort of weird at first but I don’t notice it now so I’m more than happy with it. And when every time you walk towards the bike from the rear and something inside you grins and growls, then you’ll be happy to live with the compromise too. Why does a wide rear look so mean? I’ve no idea but it does and it’s great.

Another great thing about the Rocket III is that you can blast along happily, overtaking cars and having a hoot. But when you want – or if the queues of cars are just too long – then you can sit back and cruise and still enjoy just being aboard the bike. You don’t even have to change gear – stick it in fourth and it’ll pull from sharp bends all the way to fast sweepers nearing triple figures. Purrrrfect.

So what about other stuff – mpg, reliability, comfort. Dull but important stuff?

Well, if I’m highway blasting, tank range is 177 miles (consistently till dry) but motorway is well over 200. That equates from high 30 to high 40 mpg. Which is OK for a 2.3 liter engine I’d say. Reliability? Well mine’s been great but I’ve not had it long. Early ones suffered a few problems with clutches and drive shafts but most will have been sorted by now, and apparently the latest ones are great as Triumph has sorted the niggles themselves, as you’d expect.

Comfort?
Well I fitted Triumph Comfort shocks myself which sorted out some of the rear end choppiness – but again, later models are apparently sorted in this respect too. I do intend to fit some pulled back bars on mine as I tend to hunker down over the tank with the ones I’ve got, but that’s probably just personal preference as I want to be more laid back still. But the seat’s pretty good and it’s all round a pretty smooth ride.

Get one?
I tend to think of the Rocket III in these terms: If you’re after a normal cruiser, this probably ain’t it. Indeed, I’m not sure the Rocket really hit the nail on the head in the abnormal cruiser market either! My reading of things is that the Rocket didn’t really do it so they had to release the 1600/1700 Thunderbird v-twin range to have another go at cracking it. However, if you want a cruiser that handles, has acres of power and is a bit different, this is probably the one. Part cruiser, part muscle bike, totally over the top engine that handles and looks mean as a pitbull with a chain saw.

If you like to get noticed, love your torque and love crazy over-the-top engineering, give one a go – you’ll love it.

I drifted past a dozen cars towards the junction. It’s a tricky junction this – a dog-leg cross road across a pretty busy highway – where you have to look back over your left shoulder to see if anything’s coming when pulling out. It’s not usually so busy; usually I wait for a car or two in front then take my turn. But for some reason it’s a bit rammed today and I really can’t be bothered waiting so I’m filtering towards the front.

I get near the front and the first car’s pulling out. I make a split second decision. I can see straight on and right (the easy view) and it’s clear. Somewhere in my subconscious, I’m saying that if he’s pulled out, it’s probably alright for me to follow right behind as long as I’m close enough so I can get through the same hole in the traffic that they’ve judged is ok. So I go for it.

Only, they’d cut things a bit too close in the first place. Half way across the road, I realize they’ve pulled out making cars slow down to avoid them. And I’ve just pulled out straight after him. Cue high-pitched emission of intestinal gases and muffled shouting of the F-word inside my helmet.

Thankfully, the other drivers took evasive action (thanks, thanks, thanks – I love you all) and we made it across the junction without further ado.

But not 5 seconds later, I’m following that same car down the road when another car pulls out in front of him from a timber yard, slowing us both down. One nanosecond later and I’m cogging it down a gear. I’ve registered the road layout, seen the junction ahead, the hazards, the road markings, but somehow it doesn’t matter. You know what it’s like – you’re at one with the bike and these feckers are in your way. Your adrenaline’s still pumping from the last incident and you’re in flight mode and whereas you were hoping to get a move on and put some distance between you and where you made an ass of yourself, another imbecile (no other word would do at the time) has got in my way. I needed to get them out of my life and that involves them being in my rear view mirrors – pronto. So I went for it.

Only, I’m aware that as I’m gunning past, the front car has now got his right indicator on and that I’m hammering through his turn right lane. Hmm. Rule #1 in the idiot’s guide to not dying on a motorcycle: don’t overtake dozy slow drivers turning right. Or maybe Rule #1 is don’t be an impatient ass overtaking in places you shouldn’t. Yes, that’s probably right. Infuriatingly.

Thankfully, he’s so slow and staying out of his turn right lane far too long, meaning I’m clear and well past by the time he maneuvers. Phew take 2.

So I pull back in, take a bit of a deep breath, roll off the throttle and cogitate. I became very aware that I’d just been a silly boy and that’s not the way a 46 year old guy should behave on a motorcycle. Especially not when he would really, deeply love to become a 47 year old guy on a motorcycle. It’s become suddenly apparent that I’ve been a bit of an idiot and I immediately start to try and work out why.

Two things quickly dawn on me. Firstly, I seem to be a bit twitchier than normal. I’m a bit disassociated from what’s going on and everything seems somehow to be happening more quickly. Secondly, that’s how I get when I’ve had too much caffeine. And I’d had about 6 or 7 cups that day at work (I know, shocking isn’t it).

It’s not something I’d considered before:

• Drink riding – considered/rejected

• Drug riding – considered/rejected

• Riding covered in jelly & ice cream covered in nude, nymphomaniac air hostesses – considered/still under consideration.

• Caffeine riding – not considered.

Which is, I guess, particularly scary and insidious. I felt more or less normal. Jumped on my bike, but took risks I’d not normally take and rode like a bit of a tit. A dangerous tit on 600+ lbs of Rocket III at that. Only after I’d done a load of very silly maneuvers did I realize I was a bit of a coiled spring. I was tense, making snap judgements, impatient judgements (OK, more impatient than usual) and it all conspired to make me a bit of a danger. After all, I bought the Rocket after years on sports bikes to help me take things a bit steadier. Then after all that caffeine, I find myself riding on a hair trigger.

So that’s something I’m going to be adding to my lengthening list of things I shouldn’t do. And It’ll probably be pretty close to the top because as you may, or may not, know, you’ll most likely find you have a few near misses over the course of your motorcycling career. It’s often by the smallest of margins that you stay hairy side up – and keeping a clear and caffeine-free view of the world might mean the difference between parking your bike safely at home or becoming a crimson smudge on your favorite twisty road. 

Happy riding!